The Keisha role in "God's Crying" is a victim of domestic violence. Growing up her father beating on her mother for dinner not being ready or taking to long to go shopping or in his mind the mother not showing him any respect was part of her family's daily routine.
Now, I ask you, how did you think Keisha was going to grow & develop by living in a household where she watch a man beating a woman everyday let alone it being her own parents. The vow Keisha made to herself as a child that when she grows up she will never let a man hit her, use her or disrespect her in anyway stem from how she thought her mother was treated.
Even with Keisha's promise to herself; that would not be enough to stop the revolving circle of domestic violence that intertwine into Keisha's life,
ARE YOU AWARE that Domestic violence is considered one of the most pressing issues in American society. Everyone quotes the statistics given by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 1 in 4 women will be victims of domestic violence at some point in their lives, 1.3 million women are assaulted by their partner every year, 85% of domestic violence reported is against women. However, in a conflicting survey taken by the CDC in 2010, it was found that 40% of the victims of severe, physical domestic violence are men.
Despite many findings that show almost equal amounts of abuse perpetrated against
men and women, the media and government focus the most attention on the female victims of domestic violence. Men are largely silent on the issue because of the perception that men are physically stronger and should be able to subdue a female attacker easily. Those men who do report physical violence are more likely to be ridiculed–both by law enforcement and by the public–than women are. More money is spent on women’s programs, and more crusades are launched on behalf of women who are victims of domestic violence despite the fact that men are almost equally or in some cases more likely to be victims of both physical and psychological abuse. According to the Domestic Violence Statistics Website. http://domesticviolencestatistics.org/
men and women, the media and government focus the most attention on the female victims of domestic violence. Men are largely silent on the issue because of the perception that men are physically stronger and should be able to subdue a female attacker easily. Those men who do report physical violence are more likely to be ridiculed–both by law enforcement and by the public–than women are. More money is spent on women’s programs, and more crusades are launched on behalf of women who are victims of domestic violence despite the fact that men are almost equally or in some cases more likely to be victims of both physical and psychological abuse. According to the Domestic Violence Statistics Website. http://domesticviolencestatistics.org/
What are the long-term effects on children who witness domestic violence?
Whether or not children are physically abused, they often suffer emotional and psychological trauma from living in homes where their fathers abuse their mothers. Children whose mothers are abused are denied the kind of home life that fosters healthy development. Children who grow up observing their mothers being abused, especially by their fathers, grow up with a role model of intimate relationships in which one person uses intimidation and violence over the other person to get their way. Because children have a natural tendency to identify with strength, they may ally themselves with the abuser and lose respect for their seemingly helpless mother.
Abusers typically play into this by putting the mother down in front of her children and telling them that their mother is “crazy” or “stupid” and that they do not have to listen to her. Seeing their mothers treated with enormous disrespect, teaches children that they can disrespect women the way their fathers do.
Most experts believe that children who are raised in abusive homes learn that violence is an effective way to resolve conflicts and problems. They may replicate the violence they witnessed as children in their teen and adult relationships and parenting experiences. Boys who witness their mothers’ abuse are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes. For girls, adolescence may result in the belief that threats and violence are the norm in relationships.
Children from violent homes have higher risks of alcohol/drug abuse, post traumatic stress disorder, and juvenile delinquency. Witnessing domestic violence is the single best predictor of juvenile delinquency and adult criminality. It is also the number one reason children run away.
So in reading this it would suggest that we (adults) are creating our own problems within our children huh Isn't that always the case?
The Warning Signs of Abuse
You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:
- Controls what you do, whom you see, and where you go
- Calls you names, puts you down, or humiliates you
- Makes you feel ashamed, isolated, wrong, stupid, scared, worthless, or crazy
- Acts jealous, accuses you unjustly of cheating, flirting, or having affairs
- Threatens you or makes you feel afraid
- Punishes you by withholding affection
- Constantly criticizes you and your children
- Blames you for arguments or problems in the relationship
- Makes non-verbal gestures intended to intimidate you
- Isolates you from friends or family
- Makes you feel guilty for spending time with someone else
- Threatens to take the children from you
- Monitors your phone calls
- Continually tracks your whereabouts by cell phone, pager, text messaging or GPS system
- Causes problems for you at work or at school
- Continually harasses you at work either by telephone, fax, or e-mail
- Takes your money, withholds money, makes you ask for money, or makes you account for the money you spend. Spends large sums of money and refuses to tell you why or what the money was spent on
- Refuses to let you sleep at night
- Uses your immigration status or personal history against you
- Tells you that he cannot live without you and threatens suicide if you leave
You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner:
- Throws or breaks objects, punches walls, kicks doors in your home during arguments
- Destroys your personal property or sentimental items
- Pushes, slaps, bites, kicks or chokes you
- Uses or threatens to use a weapon against you or your children
- Drives recklessly with you/and or your children in the car during an argument
- Threatens to hurt or hurts pets
- Forces or pressures you to have sex against your will. Prevents you from using birth control or from having safe sex. Makes you do things during sex that make you feel uncomfortable.
- Traps you in your home or keeps you from leaving
- Tells you that you will never belong to anyone else or that you will never be allowed to leave the relationship
- Prevents you from calling the police or seeking medical attention.
- Withholds your medication
Basic Warning Signs for Professionals
Domestic violence is not limited to “certain groups.” It is difficult to predict who may be a batterer and who may be a victim of domestic violence. There are no typical characteristics or profiles of abusers or victims. Abusers may appear very charming or may seem like angry, explosive individuals. Victims may seem passive or extremely frightened or they may be very angry about what is happening.
Domestic violence is not limited to “certain groups.” It is difficult to predict who may be a batterer and who may be a victim of domestic violence. There are no typical characteristics or profiles of abusers or victims. Abusers may appear very charming or may seem like angry, explosive individuals. Victims may seem passive or extremely frightened or they may be very angry about what is happening.
- The most obvious signs of domestic violence will be evidence of severe, recurring, or life-threatening abuse (broken bones, repeated bruises, threats with weapons, etc.)
- Domestic violence may also be emotional or psychological abuse where one partner continually degrades, criticizes, or belittles the other or accuses the other of being stupid, unattractive, unfaithful, a bad parent, etc.
- Many batterers use the legal system to punish their partners for taking steps to free themselves of the abuse.
- Batterers use issues arising from custody and visitation cases to try to re-establish control over their partners.
- Batterers frequently display extreme jealousy
- Batterers often discourage their victims from seeking help. People who have difficulty making or keeping appointments may be trying to avoid letting their abusers know they are seek
- ing help.
- Batterers frequently insist on accompanying their victims to appointments even if they are not involved in the case. The batterer may refuse to leave the victim alone and may try to speak for the victim in order to control the information the victim shares.
- Batterers harass, stalk and keep tabs on their victims. If someone reports constant phone calls, text messaging, etc. at home or at work to keep track of their whereabouts, this could be a sign of domestic violence.
- Batterers try to isolate their victims from emotional support systems or sources of help.
RESOURCES Available:
The Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence
The Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence (PCADV) is a private nonprofit organization working at the state and national levels to eliminate domestic violence, secure justice for victims, enhance safety for families and communities, and create lasting systems and social change.
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The Philadelphia Emergency Domestic Violence site is responsible for issuance of Emergency
Protection from Abuse Orders. It is located at the Criminal Justice Center, Room B-03 at 1301
Filbert St, Philadelphia, PA (215-683-7280). The office is open daily after 5 p.m. (until 8 a.m. when Family Court re-opens). It is open 24 hours on weekends and holidays.
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National Domestic Violence Hotline
Staffed 24 hours a day by trained counselors who can provide crisis assistance and information about shelters, legal advocacy, health care centers, and counseling.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
Please visit our blog daily. We will post as much information for the residents of Philadelphia for help with Domestic Violence Issues.
Thank you,
Paythia, CEO
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